Fallen From Grace
by TrifectaAeterna
Summary: Just a short drabble inspired by an rp on tumblr with myotherprimise [Roxas] Sephiroth falls. He always does. Just a description of that entire process from his point of view. Rated for swears.


_Breathing… _

I was breathing.

Why?

I was just starting to get used to it. That darkness. The in-between of earth and the lifestream. Limbo. Whatever you want to call it.

I had managed to spend more time there; feeling nothing, being nothing.

Sometimes I'd feel. Well, remember. It was as close to feeling that I could get. Memories swam by. I saw Genesis and Angeal standing there. Or were they sleeping? It wasn't clear. Not many things were.

They had some peaceful expression on. It would change to smile sometimes. Angeal's would at least. Genesis generally kept a shit-eating grin on his snarky face. Then… it would change to something else.

Their lips never moved but they spoke to me sometimes. I listened… Not that I had a choice.

'_See how the mighty silver general has fallen.'_ Genesis would laugh playfully _'A pity it wasn't on my own blade.'_ A dry chuckle. Dry humor. Maybe he meant those words, maybe he didn't. I would never know. They never heard me when I spoke back.

'_You gave up on us… on your dreams and honor as a SOLDIER. Why, Sephiroth?'_ Angeal's turn at me. I'm used to it by now. '_I'm… scared for you. Worried. Where has humanity gone? Where has the hero gone?' _

A hero… revered and honored. An angel in so many people's eyes and a demon in just as many.

'_I should have been the hero!'_ Genesis would howl_. 'Why you?! What the hell makes you so fucking special? Why has the goddess chosen you over me…'_ his voice would trail off, sad.

If I had a heart, it would have been broken. I couldn't feel a pulse but I felt pain. Did that mean anything?

'_You've failed SOLDIER… failed ShinRa… failed us.'_ Angeal would chime in.

And I would yell… screech, cry and uncontrollably shake in the despair I had yearned to cause on the planet.

No one heard. No one ever heard me.

Then as soon as they were there, they'd be gone. And I was alone again in nothing.

I can't recall which was worse.

No, I can. I recall the worst of them all.

'_Y'know, all the gloom and doom, doesn't suit ya Seph!' _

_**Zack.**_

'_I think that you messed up pretty bad there!' _

Why was his voice the softest yet the most punishing?

'_Don't worry about 'Geal and GenGen over there, they just miss ya.' _

Fucking Minerva please let it stop…

'_And they're worried y'know.' He'd smile 'I'm not, you know why?'_

At this point, I'm reduced to tears. Silent sobs and prayers to let this anguish stop.

Yes, Zack. Fucking tell me why.

'_Because everybody deserves a second chance… You're a good guy Seph. Deep down, I know ya had a heart. Ya just gotta find it. 'member? SOLDIER's always gotta have heart…'_

If I had a heart, it would have been broken.

A second chance? Why…

Then a light.

It burned. It burned me from the inside out. I was tormented with the brightness of this spot of light.

No. No no no no no no….

I can't.

I don't deserve. I don't want another fucking chance!

Minerva let me rest… let me die! I was never meant to exist! I bring nothing but pain and misery onto everyone I know.

'—_gotta have heart…' _

Those words would echo through and through as I was pushed closer to the light, to consciousness.

I was breathing.

Why was I breathing?

I opened my eyes. Was I really awake? I wasn't on the ground, I was in the air.

I was falling.

'_A hero…'_

I keep falling.

'_Disappointed…'_

My naked body doesn't work; my wing is useless.

'—_they just miss ya, Seph.'_

I'm thrown out of limbo.

I can't stop myself.

I crash. I land in a clearing somewhere. I couldn't tell. All I could do was feel the immense pain.

Once again I couldn't scream but mercy had it that I could cry.

My bones were broken. My blood found a way outside my body and over the wet grass.

Is that how one was reborn? I was crying… babies cried when they were born.

It was cold. I could feel again. I shivered, my body regaining some of its ability to move. My wing twitched, curling upwards and around me.

I'd die again like this probably. The process would repeat itself and whatever gods were out there would make sure I never have any peace. I'm not worthy of such a thing.

I close my eyes, tears streaming down my cheek still. The sobbing twitches are too painful so I have to quiet myself down.

I'd die like this. I was preparing myself. Whatever the hell that meant.

I wasn't prepared for footsteps. Soft running paddles of a boy.

My eyes opened. Confusion covering them.

Why?

Who are you.

"Don't talk, you're hurt pretty bad."

Such blue eyes… even the lifestream didn't have that shade of blue. The planet liked to claim its own shades of beautiful colors.

I ask his name. My lips… I think they smiled.

"Roxas."

_Roxas… _

'—_heart.' _

If I had a heart, it might have beaten with a shred of hope.


End file.
